bad news, rap dudes

Dec 22

on kherk cobain, soft-dude breakfast, #OWS

• hotdoorknobs: "breakfast time / croissants and wine / key lime pie, lemme be that guy"
• hotdoorknobs: <3 u kherk
• jaychampvinyl: haha!
• jaychampvinyl: rappers being heroically unafraid to be soft
• jaychampvinyl: croissants and wine!?!
• hotdoorknobs: best
• hotdoorknobs: also in this video, they go to atlantic city, a mini golf course, and OCCUPY WALL STREET
• hotdoorknobs: they SKATEBOARD through OWS, wearing pink belts
• hotdoorknobs: checkMATE, rest of the universe
• jaychampvinyl: haahaahahaahahaaa

Sep 08

on lloyd, gay snakes, sibilance

• jaychampvinyl: you like Lloyd, right?
• hotdoorknobs: i do
• jaychampvinyl: his voice is a little too...sibilant?
• jaychampvinyl: haha
• hotdoorknobs: o rly
• jaychampvinyl: it makes me feel a little bit like I'm being felt up by a gay snake
• hotdoorknobs: hahahaha
• hotdoorknobs: umad.gif
• jaychampvinyl: yes
• jaychampvinyl: whatever he says, I basically here, "hey boy, wanna popsicle?"
• hotdoorknobs: he does have a sort of top of the nose weasel vibe
• hotdoorknobs: BUT STILL
• hotdoorknobs: hahah
• jaychampvinyl: yeah, I like him in doses
• jaychampvinyl: I like him when he's, like, a sine wave on top of his own song
• hotdoorknobs: there's a song on his new record i'm really into
• hotdoorknobs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXtvVeACnjI
• hotdoorknobs: might be too cocker spaniel for ya
• jaychampvinyl: nah, this is totally the Lloyd I can get with
• jaychampvinyl: this sounds SO MUCH like a track off the Young Money album
• jaychampvinyl: I can hear Nikki Minaj and Mack Maine plugging in hashtag raps over this

Jul 26

on jay-z, wetzel's pretzels, shanghai bleek

• dior_cohen: by the way, jay-z's verse from "light up" is proving to be something along the lines of sauce money's "reservoir dogs"
• dior_cohen: GOING AGAINST MY DOGS IS FAR-FETCHED
• dior_cohen: I'M LIKE WINDOWS 7
• blingcosby: and my favorite: Triple entrendre -- DON'T EVEN ASK ME HOW
• dior_cohen: OW!
• dior_cohen: OWL
• dior_cohen: HOUR
• blingcosby: DON'T
• blingcosby: EVEN
• blingcosby: ASK
• blingcosby: It's too bad he said that, because I was really going to ask how he classified that as a "triple entendre"
• dior_cohen: that's probably his best verse in the last five years
• dior_cohen: no
• dior_cohen: it's DEFINITELY the best
• blingcosby: come on
• blingcosby: MORAL VICTORIES IS FOR MINOR LEAGUE COACHES
• dior_cohen: oh 
• dior_cohen: i forgot
• dior_cohen: :-/
• dior_cohen: he was on that record
• dior_cohen: wow
• blingcosby: LAAAAAHVE
• blingcosby: I DON'T GET ENOUGH OF IT
• dior_cohen: I MIGHT BUY THE MALL
• blingcosby: that's a great line
• dior_cohen: "yes, i'd like to purchase this mall"
• dior_cohen: ALL OF IT
• dior_cohen: even the spencer's
• dior_cohen: "what am i going to do with this wetzel's pretzels?"- jay-z, after following through on "so appalled"
• blingcosby: I'd like you to rename this pretzel joint "Hovi Anne's"
• dior_cohen: "this sports authority will really show beanie sigel"
• blingcosby: "Hello, I'm Bleek, and I'll be your Sandwich Artist today"
• dior_cohen: oh, come on...bleek's earned the right to work at a quizno's at the very least...or at least one of the classiest ethnic joints at a mall
• blingcosby: say, a Big and Tall
• dior_cohen: "hi, i'm shanghai bleek, welcome to the panda express
• blingcosby: he seems like he'd make you feel comfortable
• blingcosby: hahahahahahaha 
• blingcosby: that would actually be an incredible line to the start of an actual Memph Bleek verse
• blingcosby: "niggas call me Shanghai Bleek, I run that Panda Express"
• dior_cohen: the hoes they add us on google+

on gucci mane, michelle rodriguez, plausability

• blingcosby: Gucci says "Play your cards right or you'll end up in Dakota" on this Writing On the Wall 2
• blingcosby: not North, or South 
• blingcosby: DAKOTA
• blingcosby: I call my secretary MY SEX-A-TARY
• blingcosby: I am loving this Gucci tape
• dior_cohen: that line is AWESOME 
• dior_cohen: "dictionary"
• dior_cohen: i'm wondering what movie stars gucci mane has slept with
• dior_cohen: to verify his claim
• blingcosby: haha
• dior_cohen: that seems far-fetched
• blingcosby: Michelle Rodriguez?
• blingcosby: seems at least plausible to me for some reason
• dior_cohen: yes  
• dior_cohen: where you got that is beyond me
• blingcosby: and to me!
• blingcosby: I just closed my eyes
• blingcosby: and saw her
• dior_cohen: yes
• blingcosby: she seemed down

Jul 07

on "writings on the wall 2," fiona apple, travis porter

• hotdoorknobs: WRITINGS ON THE WALL 2
• hotdoorknobs: jussayin
• hotdoorknobs: also: fat trel
• hotdoorknobs: hahahha
• jaychampvinyl: EVEN MORE WRITING
• jaychampvinyl: THE WALL IS C OVERED IN WRITING
• hotdoorknobs: other albums that could be called "writings on the wall": that fiona apple one, that no doubt one, the new girls one
• hotdoorknobs: ummmm
• jaychampvinyl: WHEN THE PAWN HITS THE TRAP
• hotdoorknobs: hahaha
• hotdoorknobs: YIKES
• hotdoorknobs: there was something i wanted to talk to you about today
• hotdoorknobs: and i've forgotten
• hotdoorknobs: :--(
• hotdoorknobs: it MIGHT have been to ask if you've listened to travis porter at all
• jaychampvinyl: the answer to that question is "nope"
• hotdoorknobs: ok
• hotdoorknobs: THE CONVERSATIONAL DEAD ENDS ON THE WALL

Jul 05

on tony yayo, spongebob, the isley brothers, new jersey

• hotdoorknobs: we talkin' rap or what?
• jaychampvinyl: I just listened to Tony Yayo yell "my weed underwater -- SPONGEBOB CRIB!"
• jaychampvinyl: so
• hotdoorknobs: UHHHHHH
• hotdoorknobs: YES
• hotdoorknobs: that is EXACTLY what i'm talkin' about
• hotdoorknobs: kendrick lamar is giving me NONE of that
• jaychampvinyl: he also said he has "Ron isley in the shower mic"
• hotdoorknobs: hahahaha
• hotdoorknobs: you know the isleys are from teaneck?
• jaychampvinyl: NO!
• hotdoorknobs: i went to high school with their niece
• jaychampvinyl: really? Jesus, teaneck
• jaychampvinyl: full of surprises
• hotdoorknobs: in fact, chris rock mentions that tidbit in "no sex in the champagne room"
• jaychampvinyl: O SHIT
• hotdoorknobs: so clearly this conversation has already peaked
• jaychampvinyl: hahahha
• jaychampvinyl: t began with SPONGEBOB CRIB
• jaychampvinyl: it's hard to keep badnews going when all we have to do is yell two catchphrases and we both start giggling
• jaychampvinyl: SPONGEBOB, TEANECK.#weout

Mar 25

on E-40, spittums, splitting hairs

• hotdoorknobs: i clearly need to listening to more of this recent E40 shit
• jaychampvinyl: good, right??
• hotdoorknobs: just listening to this one noz posted
• hotdoorknobs: pretty out there
• hotdoorknobs: love that it also can be described as "two and a half solid hours of impeccable spittums"
• hotdoorknobs: hahahha
• jaychampvinyl: IMPECCABLE SPTIIUMS
• jaychampvinyl: fantastic
• jaychampvinyl: I would really call those spittums more "unimpeachable" than "impeccable," but I'm splitting hairs
• hotdoorknobs: i smell ya

Jan 20

on gunplay, weed carrier 2.0

• hotdoorknobs: so this dude is a rick ross weed carrier right?
• jaychampvinyl: yes
• jaychampvinyl: except he's less of a traditional "weed carrier" and more of the "guy who snorts his leftover coke"
• jaychampvinyl: though that's less catchy
• jaychampvinyl: Coke Vacuum?
• hotdoorknobs: hahaha
• hotdoorknobs: blow schmo?
• jaychampvinyl: YES
• jaychampvinyl: that's it
• hotdoorknobs: somehow i don't think he'd self-identify as such
• hotdoorknobs: HUNCH

on gunplay, swastikas, yawning

• hotdoorknobs: so i downloaded this gunplay mixtape
• hotdoorknobs: finally
• hotdoorknobs: looking forward to it
• hotdoorknobs: you know in addition to the inglorious basterd-ripping art, apparently he has a swastika tattoo on the back of his neck?!
• hotdoorknobs: just FYI
• hotdoorknobs: you know
• jaychampvinyl: yawn
• jaychampvinyl: OVER IT
• jaychampvinyl: KEEP UP WITH YR RSS FEED
• jaychampvinyl: (kidding)
• hotdoorknobs: :--(
• hotdoorknobs: fair 'nuff

Dec 14

on wale, obsfuscation, rick ross hating money

• jaychampvinyl: uh, so remember when you made that joke about hoping Wale's next record is all strip club bangers?
• dior_cohen: ....
• jaychampvinyl: you're going to get your wish
• jaychampvinyl: Wale Folarin is SIGNING WITH MAYBACH MUSIC
• jaychampvinyl: http://rapradar.com/2010/12/13/new-music-wale-x-roscoe-dash-talk2me/
• dior_cohen: there's a song called "picture phone foreplay" on the new sheek louch
• jaychampvinyl: HAHAHAH
• jaychampvinyl: that is a PHENOMENAL song title
• dior_cohen: there is just no obfuscation with sheek louch
• jaychampvinyl: haha
• jaychampvinyl: refreshing
• dior_cohen: MAYBACH MUSIC
• dior_cohen: no words
• jaychampvinyl: "yo, why you like that new Sheek?" "Yo, the total lack of obsfuscation"
• dior_cohen: this wale is actually pretty good
• jaychampvinyl: IT IS!!
• dior_cohen: i can't picture rick ross listening to "mixtape about nothing"
• jaychampvinyl: basically, he is about to pull some kind of incredible Reverse Ross: renege on everything he's ever staked his name on in the most humiliating way possible and somehow come ahead
• dior_cohen: my brain's broken
• dior_cohen: just...wow