bad news, rap dudes

on wayne, jae millz, charles dickens

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 13:48:58 -0500

hotdoorknobs: "flow nasty like cole slaw/ call me mr. no flaw"
hotdoorknobs: <3
jaychampvinyl: HAHAAA yessssss
jaychampvinyl: ok
hotdoorknobs: conversely, jae millz: "i don't promise much, but i promise you'll love the flow boy/ name jae, but you could call me the millzberry doughboy"
jaychampvinyl: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA O GOD
jaychampvinyl: WORK ON YOUR SIXTEENS, SON
hotdoorknobs: that's some dickens shit
hotdoorknobs: (the best of times, the worst of times)
jaychampvinyl: right, right
hotdoorknobs: a tale of two shittys
jaychampvinyl: you had "great expectations"
hotdoorknobs: etc
jaychampvinyl: Trap Goin Havisham
jaychampvinyl: (FTW)

on mack maine, a cry for help

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:23:59 -0500

hotdoorknobs: currently i am watching mack maine eat an apple
hotdoorknobs: ...
hotdoorknobs: WTF HAPPENED TO ME

on parsing gucci, chopsticks

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 10:35:40 -0500

jaychampvinyl: TRYIN TO FILL MY SHOES IS LIKE AN ARMLESS MAN WITH CHOPSTICKS
hotdoorknobs: hahah oh i thought he said AMISH
hotdoorknobs: i was puzzled
jaychampvinyl: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
jaychampvinyl: hard to know which way is better

on charles hamilton, still the worst

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 17:26:33 -0500

hotdoorknobs: charles hamilton: "i'm verbally the jim crow laws/ 'cuz only real niggas gonna get my bars"
hotdoorknobs: :--/ x 1,000,000
hotdoorknobs: this guy sucks
jaychampvinyl: gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hotdoorknobs: umm he also says
jaychampvinyl: why are you listening to that!?
hotdoorknobs: "in essence i'm dr. king's shooter/ i just blacked out like dr. king's future"
hotdoorknobs: WHAT?!
jaychampvinyl: good jesus god
jaychampvinyl: this is where I would rapid-fire deploy the link to the Onion article about Marilyn Manson
jaychampvinyl: going door to door
jaychampvinyl: to shock people
jaychampvinyl: also: "In essence"
jaychampvinyl: hahahahahahaha
jaychampvinyl: BASICALLY
jaychampvinyl: LOOK
jaychampvinyl: I'M OK
jaychampvinyl: BUT DR. KING IS DEAD
hotdoorknobs: hahahahahhaha
hotdoorknobs: O
hotdoorknobs: GOD

on short dawg, bradford cox

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 16:58:00 -0500

hotdoorknobs: i like how short dawg, on "break up", ad libs something after LITERALLY EVERY LINE
jaychampvinyl: hahahaha
jaychampvinyl: yes
hotdoorknobs: when i realized that i just started laughing so hard
hotdoorknobs: and dude
jaychampvinyl: hahahahahahaha
hotdoorknobs: you know who brought that up to me, w/o even me mentioning it
hotdoorknobs: BRADFORD COX
hotdoorknobs: not joking
jaychampvinyl: nooooooooooooooooooo
hotdoorknobs: yes
jaychampvinyl: Short Dawg?!?!?!?!?
hotdoorknobs: he didn't use his name
hotdoorknobs: but he was like
jaychampvinyl: dude, can we make him an honorary badnewsrapdudes contributor???
jaychampvinyl: how fucking amazing would that be
hotdoorknobs: "the guy with the really high voice on 'no ceilings', he laughs after every one of his own lines!!"
hotdoorknobs: i was like
hotdoorknobs: *blink*
hotdoorknobs: WHAT
jaychampvinyl: hahahahahahaha
jaychampvinyl: AMAZING
jaychampvinyl: literally the last possible thing
jaychampvinyl: you could have ever expected
hotdoorknobs: seriously.
jaychampvinyl: seriously, tho, let's make this happen
jaychampvinyl: badnewsrapdudes: in which Bradford Cox, the bassist from Pains, and a Pitchfork writer joke about Jae Millz
hotdoorknobs: TO: bradbrad@deerhunter.net
jaychampvinyl: haha
hotdoorknobs: HEY DUDE
hotdoorknobs: RE: rap tumblr
jaychampvinyl: hahaha
jaychampvinyl: "Mental Piano (Weird Era)"

on gudda gudda, gouda

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 16:06:25 -0500

hotdoorknobs: everytime i see gudda gudda i think gouda gouda
hotdoorknobs: like the cheese
jaychampvinyl: yes
hotdoorknobs: not gangsta
jaychampvinyl: nope
jaychampvinyl: gouda is many things -- smoky, good on buttery crackers, a nice pairing with a light red -- but it is not gangsta
hotdoorknobs: which is funny because gudda the rapper is clearly gangsta because he swears he "rhymes hard... like an anvil."
hotdoorknobs: WOW DUDE
hotdoorknobs: WORDPLAY
hotdoorknobs: the dramatic pause is so pronounced dude
jaychampvinyl: to be fair, I can't think of many things harder than anvils
hotdoorknobs: it's like... "ok i'm ready for it"
hotdoorknobs: "what do you rhyme as hard as?!"
jaychampvinyl: money talks......LIKE CHARLIE SHEEN
jaychampvinyl: I'm so bent................LIKE A DENT
jaychampvinyl: (both real lyrics)
jaychampvinyl: I'm the shit..............................................................................
jaychampvinyl: LIKE MANURE
hotdoorknobs: #theghostofpaulwall

on pill, ham slang

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:14:04 -0500

hotdoorknobs: pill-related q
hotdoorknobs: what does "goin' ham" mean?
hotdoorknobs: really
jaychampvinyl: hahahah
jaychampvinyl: it means...goin crazy?
jaychampvinyl: for some reason?
jaychampvinyl: haha
jaychampvinyl: I have no idea why
hotdoorknobs: sean says it's shorthand for "mayhem"
jaychampvinyl: literally NO idea
jaychampvinyl: hmmmm
hotdoorknobs: that's weird.
jaychampvinyl: that seems farfetched
jaychampvinyl: yes
jaychampvinyl: "It's actually a shorthand for the Old English Derivative of the Word Hammdoen, which referred to infertile witches"
hotdoorknobs: pill also says "it's goin' ham sandwich/ got that bologna meat"
hotdoorknobs: "......"
jaychampvinyl: Pill - Trap Goin Hammdoen
jaychampvinyl: hahahaha

on cassidy, indifference

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 11:07:03 -0500

hotdoorknobs: we listened to a lot of rap radio on the drive there and back to philly last weekend
hotdoorknobs: since there was no tape deck or CD player
jaychampvinyl: word?
jaychampvinyl: any goodness?
hotdoorknobs: and at one point they had cassidy do like a 5+ minute long A CAPELLA freestyle
hotdoorknobs: we were transfixed
hotdoorknobs: and horrified
hotdoorknobs: i was like "oh this guy"
jaychampvinyl: hahahahahahahaha
hotdoorknobs: right
jaychampvinyl: jesssssus
jaychampvinyl: yes
jaychampvinyl: "seein me without the grams on the grind/IS LIKE SEEING WESLEY SNIPES IN A TANNING SALON"
jaychampvinyl: actual Cassidy punchline
hotdoorknobs: i'm pretty sure he talked about: A) being real; B) going to jail
hotdoorknobs: things he didn't talk about: A) his drink; B) his two-step
jaychampvinyl: and how B) relates to A)
jaychampvinyl: in both cases
hotdoorknobs: hahahha
hotdoorknobs: oh cass
hotdoorknobs: already a relic

on new weezy, grandma

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:56:53 -0400

jaychampvinyl: wow, some real gems on this Wayne
jaychampvinyl: example:
jaychampvinyl: "Your flow never wet like Grandma pussy/My flow always good like grandma cookies"
jaychampvinyl: HAHAHAHA
hotdoorknobs: YES
hotdoorknobs: that is gross/amazing
jaychampvinyl: YES.

on juelz, twitter, lemonade

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:29:14 -0400

jaychampvinyl: ok
jaychampvinyl: dude
jaychampvinyl: dude
jaychampvinyl: Juelz
jaychampvinyl: Santanta's
jaychampvinyl: twitter
jaychampvinyl: first of all:
jaychampvinyl: he starts every tweet, literally, with"A!"
jaychampvinyl: example (REAL EXAMPLE):
jaychampvinyl: "A! did yall know that I make the BEST Lemonade??"
hotdoorknobs: no.
hotdoorknobs: NO.
jaychampvinyl: YES.
hotdoorknobs: LEMONADE WAS THE BEST DRINK/ AND IT STILL IS
jaychampvinyl: wait
hotdoorknobs: pardon me
hotdoorknobs: it's
hotdoorknobs: LEMONADE WAS A POPULAR DRINK/ AND IT STILL IS
hotdoorknobs: thanks guru
hotdoorknobs: for bringing this full circle
jaychampvinyl: on Oct. 21
jaychampvinyl: at 3:41
jaychampvinyl: he writes:
jaychampvinyl: "A!"
jaychampvinyl: that is all
hotdoorknobs: hahahahaha

on ghettosocks

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 11:34:16 -0400

jaychampvinyl: http://www.emusic.com/album/El-Da-Sensei-The-Money-EP-MP3-Download/11680191.html
jaychampvinyl: track 4
jaychampvinyl: Ain't Trippin (feat. Ghettosocks & Timbuktu)
jaychampvinyl: GHETTOSOCKS
jaychampvinyl: rappers out there stealing OTHER rap names I could have used

on rap being good, coffee talk with linda richman

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 16:36:53 -0400

jaychampvinyl: hey, you know what's good?
jaychampvinyl: rap music.
jaychampvinyl: that is all.
hotdoorknobs: absolutely
hotdoorknobs: into it
jaychampvinyl: DISCUSS AMONGST YOURSELVES.
hotdoorknobs: pea/nut
jaychampvinyl: yes!
jaychampvinyl: precisely
jaychampvinyl: Del Tha Funky Homosapien was neither funky nor a homo
jaychampvinyl: DISCUSS
hotdoorknobs: hahahahahahahahah

on beans, deep thoughts

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 16:00:41 -0400

jaychampvinyl: Beanie has a point: I really DON'T want to eat through a straw
jaychampvinyl: he also has a point when he says: "Shit where you eat, might as well lay where you pee"
jaychampvinyl: TRENCHANT
jaychampvinyl: THINK ABOUT IT
hotdoorknobs: hahahahahahahha
hotdoorknobs: that's some jack handy shit

on more max b paranoia, confusion

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 10:10:44 -0400

hotdoorknobs: still buried treasures w/these max b mixtapes
hotdoorknobs: like
hotdoorknobs: track 21 on "public domain 2"
hotdoorknobs: is "F**k Is My Cash"
hotdoorknobs: track 17
hotdoorknobs: "BIG WHITE OWL"
jaychampvinyl: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
jaychampvinyl: whoaaaa
hotdoorknobs: BIG
hotdoorknobs: WHITE
hotdoorknobs: OWL
jaychampvinyl: is that one about Harry Potter?
hotdoorknobs: something up going on with max b
jaychampvinyl: "I'm selling shit to snort up in Hogwarts"
hotdoorknobs: clearly getting increasingly paranoid on this mixtape
jaychampvinyl: Fuck is My CasH?????
hotdoorknobs: track 21: "fuck is my cash", sure.
hotdoorknobs: track 4 is "hold me."
jaychampvinyl: HAHAHAHAH
jaychampvinyl: jesus god.
hotdoorknobs: also, the subtitle of "public domain 2" is "rise of the silver surfer."
hotdoorknobs: "..."
hotdoorknobs: WHAT
jaychampvinyl: o god
jaychampvinyl: literal LOL
jaychampvinyl: pain

on max b, unexpected morning gifts

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 10:03:45 -0400

hotdoorknobs: yeah this one max b tape
hotdoorknobs: is clearly classic
hotdoorknobs: "Gimme Slaws (feat. Mack Mustard)"
jaychampvinyl: no.
jaychampvinyl: you clearly --- CLEARLY -- made that up
hotdoorknobs: also, the clear winner:
hotdoorknobs: "Fuckfaces 2k9 (feat. Dame Grease & Mack Mustard)"
jaychampvinyl: HAHAHAHAHAHA
hotdoorknobs: REAL SONG
jaychampvinyl: oh
jaychampvinyl: no no no no no no
hotdoorknobs: good morning, max b! thank you!
jaychampvinyl: THAT IS
jaychampvinyl: CHRISTMAS MORNING
jaychampvinyl: seriously, every single word
jaychampvinyl: of that song title
jaychampvinyl: is 3x funnier than the one preceeding it
jaychampvinyl: and, I mean, it STARTS with FUCKFACES
hotdoorknobs: hahahahah
jaychampvinyl: only goes uphill from there

on gift of gab, sucking

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 17:46:54 -0400

jaychampvinyl: btw, this is the description on HipHopDX of Gift Of Gab's upcoming solo record, title Escape 2 Mars, which I will be reviewing:
jaychampvinyl: "Escape 2 Mars, which will be available on CD, vinyl and digital download format, combines various mundane elements intermixed with an electronic sound scheme."
hotdoorknobs: HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
jaychampvinyl: COMBINES VARIOUS MUNDANE ELEMENTS
hotdoorknobs: wow
jaychampvinyl: INTERMIXED
hotdoorknobs: you just got sonned
hotdoorknobs: that is embarrassing

on ballads, pistachios

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:47:42 -0400

hotdoorknobs: i'm loading this keyshia cole video and there is literally a commercial for PISTACHIOS that loads before it.
hotdoorknobs: fucking pistachios
hotdoorknobs: wtf
jaychampvinyl: hahaha
jaychampvinyl: lotsa overlpa in the "I like keyshia cole" and "I like pistachios" market
hotdoorknobs: pistachio n' b
jaychampvinyl: HAHA
jaychampvinyl: hey, do you enjoy Trey Songz? then you'll love milk!
hotdoorknobs: i need a shirt that says, "i sat through a youtube ad for postachios and all i got was this tepid r&b song."

on tickling ivory

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 11:54:40 -0400

jaychampvinyl: so apparently on this one song on a Game mixtape, Rick Ross says, out of nowhere, "I fucks pianos."
jaychampvinyl: so there's that.

on pathos

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 17:09:48 -0400

hotdoorknobs: copy editing a review right now and came across this line
hotdoorknobs: "Lovano imbues the fragile mood of “Good Morning Heartache” with pathos that isn’t threadbare. "
hotdoorknobs: i heard this song and all i thought was "the pathos here is SO not threadbare."
hotdoorknobs: WTF
hotdoorknobs: srsly
jaychampvinyl: MY PATHOS PLUSH
jaychampvinyl: LIKE STONE TEMPLE PILOTS
jaychampvinyl: most headspinning potential rap lyric ever.
hotdoorknobs: hahahahhaha
jaychampvinyl: if Gucci Mane said that, your life would end.
hotdoorknobs: O GOD

on fucked up metaphors, going to hell

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 15:54:16 -0400

jaychampvinyl: okay, Fab line: "I'm up in this bitch like an unborn baby"
jaychampvinyl: better or worse than "in the building like Cory Lidle flight?"
hotdoorknobs: hmmm
hotdoorknobs: well
hotdoorknobs: better?
hotdoorknobs: god
hotdoorknobs: this is terrible
hotdoorknobs: hahahha
hotdoorknobs: ummmm
jaychampvinyl: hahahaha
hotdoorknobs: "hittin trees like sonny bono"
jaychampvinyl: and are they both better than Lil Wayne's "I'm in the building like the audience?"
jaychampvinyl: haha
hotdoorknobs: they ain't fly cuz they not
jaychampvinyl: HAHA
jaychampvinyl: yep
jaychampvinyl: you ain't fly like a not-fly guy
hotdoorknobs: i'm fly like cory lidle... into buildings
jaychampvinyl: hahah
hotdoorknobs: ...
hotdoorknobs: sorry
hotdoorknobs: hahahah
hotdoorknobs: WASSUP HELL, I'M ON MY WAY
hotdoorknobs: SAVE ME A SEAT NEXT TO CORY LIDLE